I never knew blogging could be this hard. I have been through a lot this last few days and writing it down, remembering it again is a daunting task. This all days, I so wanted to vent everything out, but just the thought of remembering everything made me not put my feelings into words.. Now, I cant hold it back no longer..

As I last posted, I had an operation. A disease crossed my path, which is changing my life drastically. The villain, endometriosis. From the day I was diagnosed, not even a single day have I been at rest. Reading from the net and consulting doctors was the norm for a cpl of weeks. While the doctors were talking about removing my ovaries, I was trying to find what the hell this endometriosis is. For some reason, there was a cyst forming over my ovaries, destroying it slowly. There are several reasons for this happening; I don’t know which one is applicable to me. So much is unknown about it, and it is not an uncommon disease. People are just unaware of it, so negligent. However, they should be known about it. I now realize what difference it can make. This is a disease which is the number two reason for infertility in women, and it can happen to anyone, any female. And as I found out the hard way, it is a silent killer. I didn’t even know that I had this, until 6 weeks ago. According to the symptoms of the disease I should be in lots of pain, but I was not. I was perfectly healthy. Hopefully, by God’s grace, it was found on time, and I had an operation and it was removed…Now comes the interesting part.

The doctor after the operation told me, that my ovaries have been saved, BUT (there’s always a ‘but’) I should marry early and have kids soon. Ok..point taken. Come back home after the operation, and my mom had started talking about me getting married. So I told her about MD, told her I love him and I want to marry him. I didn’t think that my parents would object much. Though I didn’t expect a smooth sailing, I didn’t expect a tough resistance. And what reaction I got, tough is a small word to describe it. Here I was just 10 days after my operation, and I was already crying profusely, my stitches paining badly cause of it. My parents vehemently denied MD. Reason was my ‘Guruji’ said that he will leave me after we get married. So I continued day after day, me crying, trying to manao my parents, and they denying it.

And I haven’t even told you that what a support MD was in this days. Hearing that your girl could loose the ability to become a mom, is not a easy thing. But he was always there for me, hearing me out, supporting me when I cried, always making me feel strong, making me a brave girl, taught me how to face my fears. He has always been my side through thick and thin. And I love him dearly, more than anything. But I don’t want to hurt my parents in this process… So I am in a sandwich situation, I want to marry MD, but my parents are not approving me, threatening me inevery possible way. And if that was not enough I have this disease which constantly keeps me worrying about my future…

It takes a hell lot of courage to pass a single day.. Hope they pass soon…